When you think of boundaries, do you think of personal space or respecting someone's wishes to respect their boundaries? They are both healthy boundaries. Establishing healthy boundaries is a sign of growth, change, and willingness to respect others. There is a different between healthy and unhealthy boundaries but if you are willing to change to respect others wishes, that shows a huge sign of growth. We all have boundaries and we all need to respect each others wishes but sometimes it's not always easy as it sounds. Especially those who don't know how to set and establish healthy boundaries. It's very simple but it can be very hard at times especially for people like me who have Anxiety. I have learned healthy and unhealthy boundaries and I have become a much wiser person once I realize what I did wrong and I moved on. It can be challenging but it's possible for someone to do it.
Establishing healthy boundaries is an act of self-care. It is a sign of growth and it is also a sign that you aren't a doormat. It's okay to say no, it's okay to think of yourself first, it's okay to set boundaries that you need to put up so you can have a productive life. As we get older, the more self aware we become and the more we understand that not everyone is the same. It's important to respect other people's boundaries because if you don't then that is can cause the relationship to fail.
Unhealthy boundaries consist of not respecting others wishes, ignoring their privacy, and doing things that cross the line and push the other person away. In any relationship, boundaries need to be discussed so you don't cross the line and end up risking the relationship down the road. For example, if you compliment someone on their appearance and you keep doing over and over even though the person respectfully asked you stop, you are disrespecting that person and overstepping their personal space and comfort zone. Unhealthy boundaries will only get worse down the road if you don't see that you are disrespecting the other individuals wishes. No one likes being disrespected and no one likes having to end relationships because the other person isn't respecting your boundaries. But, sometimes that happens. If you are willing to see that you are doing something wrong, that is another story. If you see that you are stepping over their boundaries and make a choice to change, that is a sign of being responsible for your actions. It's one thing to change your ways then completely ignoring your behavior.
There are many ways you can establish healthy boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that. People need to understand and respect your boundaries as you would their boundaries. Establishing these boundaries is an essential part to life and relationships but as I said before, most people don't recognize it because they aren't aware of them. They may get pointers or indications but usually it's shrugged off and pushed to the side unless the other person in the relationship says something.
Here are some ways to set healthy boundaries:
- Know your limits - You can't set boundaries if you don't your limits psychically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Consider what you tolerate and accept, those are usually indications of limits.
- Tune into your feelings - Keep in tune with your feelings. If someone does something that doesn't feel right to you, then you will start feeling discomfort and resentment. You may also start wondering if the friendship or relationship is what you want. It's one thing if they do it by accident but it's another if they keep doing the same thing over and over making you more uncomfortable.
- Be direct and become more self-aware - If someone does something that bothers you and crosses a boundary, tell them. They may take it the wrong way or they may not understand they did. If you are direct with them and tell them, that is one way of being self-aware and setting limits.